Anger definitely feels good in the moment.
It offloads the uncomfortable sensations that come with loss of any kind, relevant today as the Supreme Court announced its overturn of Roe versus Wade. And in response, I’ve seen countless expressions of anger and grief across social media. One even encouraging people to “ Hold onto your anger! We’ll need it to fight back!”
Let’s get straight to it. Anger at its root, is about LOSS. And we see numerous examples of loss everyday in our lives:
👉🏼 a boundary crossing
👉🏼 an unexpected or undesired outcome or result
👉🏼 a loss of connection, or like today’s loss…
👉🏼 ..a loss of freedom or a restriction of some kind. Those can feel the worst.
And as humans, we need to freely grieve those losses and process it, instead of redirecting it or offloading it through anger. That is, if we want to move forward EFFECTIVELY.
If we don’t, unexpressed grief quickly becomes anger and resentment. And then.. our actions become less impactful.
The tricky part is, losses of any kind can bring up unresolved grief from our past. The ‘unfinished business’ of a previous loss that was rejected, mocked or neglected when we first experienced it. The sense of SEPARATION that followed, resulted in a feeling of isolation and helplessness.
So, is anger EVER effective?
Sure, in the moment — when defense is needed or a loss is occurring in real time. Anger can serve as a short-burst catalyst and quick call-to-action when someone or something is unable to defend themselves from physical or mental threat.
But hanging onto to anger as a fuel for sustainable change, not only is polarizing and ineffective long-term, but it’s terrible for our physical and mental health. Prolonged anger weakens areas of our brain and can activate huge dumps of cortisol. Which…. makes us even less effective in our contribution to the change we want to see happen. See how that works?
So yes, use anger in the moment, if someone or something needs supported defense.
AND.. when needed, grieve your losses.
Let grief run its course.
Then… buckle down and use the TWO MOST EFFECTIVE TOOLS ON THE PLANET for contributing to sustainable change: Focus and energetic Determination.
FOCUS on what it is you want to see more of.
Use energetic DETERMINATION to work consistently and purposely towards the vision you support or want to make happen.
Neither requires using prolonged anger as fuel.
And when directed towards a change you wish to see, both focus and determination are unifying and far healthier for your mind and body. Which in turn …makes you more effective in your work.
We NEED you out there!
But if you really want to make IMPACT, and make a difference that lasts, you need to be emotionally centered, thinking more flexibly and viewing the world through eyes unclouded by your past.
Let’s get to it.
Join us on Facebook, or if you’d like to gain clarity by learning how to sustainably moderate your emotional response and think more flexibly, start by learning the basics of how your brain and body work: Whole-Brain Relationships — what you need to know to feel more calm, confident and connected at work AND in love.
The Human Infusion Project is philanthropic, personal development platform that draws from the combined fields of modern brain science, applied psychology and spiritual philosophy. Our mission aims to augment and supplement the work of professional practitioners in simplified, practical and affordable ways. 100% of all course profit funds the Wellness Assistance Grant.