On November 5, 2024 The presidential election in United States shocked people worldwide as 51% of voters selected Donald Trump for a second time, seeming to prioritize radical leadership change over moral integrity.
Trump remains one of the country’s most controversial presidents. And although many are thrilled with his election, many others are stunned, concerned for the future and wondering how it happened. Again.
In his book “On the Brink of Everything,” Parker Palmer - an American leadership educator and activist - wrote this after Trumps 2016 election to describe his frustration at the time. And with the only addition being recent felony charges, it still holds true today:
“..the country I love inaugurated a (person) who embodies many of our culture’s most soulless traits: adolescent impulsiveness, an unbridled drive for wealth and power, a taste for violence, nonstop narcissism, and massive arrogance. A man who has maligned women, Mexicans, Muslims, African Americans, immi- grants, members of the LGBTQ community, people with disabilities, and Mother Earth” - Parker Palmer
And now, he’s been elected again.
Although there are many factors that swing leadership votes in any one direction. This election, although it was a bit unusual in some ways, was also not that surprising if we consider what we currently know about human behavior.
The best resources I use for making sense of human behavior is not only what I‘ve learned academically from numerous psychologists, brain scientists and relational experts over the last 10 years, but also experientially from my own relationships. This is where I implement what I learn, assessing results and then modifying and making adjustments as needed. And in my marriage, it's resulted in a redesign, deeper connection and its current interdependent relational success.
I believe that whether it’s two unique and different people in a marriage relationship, or two groups of people co-existing in a shared-country relationship, the common denominator is that humans are involved in both. So below are some factors I believe contributed to Trumps election win. Factors you may not have considered yet. And like many outcomes we break apart to understand how they occurred, within this breakdown also lies the ingredients for producing a different outcome. So future leaders, pay attention. What’s needed to create countrywide relational success on a larger group scale, may be a bit different than you currently believe.
1.Unmet Needs
Although Maslow's model on human psychological needs has been expanded and updated to include their neurophysiological underpinnings, humans continue to have 'needs' that transcend race, culture and politics. As a review, those five core mental-emotional, neurophysiological needs are Safety, Novelty, Acknowledgment, Belonging and Love / Acceptance. We also now know that these 'needs' are neurobiologically represented in our bodies - something all humans have in common. So, if these mental-emotional needs are not 'met' or not activated in our bodies in moderate amounts, it can result in behaviors that attempt to get them met (or activated), sometimes in polarizing and unhelpful ways. (You can learn more about how our neurobiological mental-emotional needs drive behavior here). In the case of many American voters, I sense these unmet needs included:
Safety (a need for financial/economic stability)
Novelty (a need for newness or a break from the perceived same ole, same ole),
Acknowledgment (many voters didn't feel heard or that their grievances mattered, and..
Acceptance ( Liberals can sometimes come across as elitist, and can appear condescending and judgmental ).
So it wouldn't surprise me if Trump supporters felt their beliefs and choice of lifestyle were unacceptable in the eyes of the Democratic party. Granted, no one needs to accept or tolerate poor behavior. But everyone has a right to live their life the way they choose. The tricky part is coming up with mutually agreed upon 'house rules' and a shared objective that binds different lifestyles together. Through his language and behavior, Trump met his supporters where they were at, not where they 'should be'. And he expressed their grievances and pain points in a way that made voters felt heard and accepted. It's all well and good to have good intentions and a vision for the future. But one of the real skills of effective leadership is an ability to meet people where they're currently at, and then take them where the leader believes everyone will benefit. I'm not clear if this new president has that second part in him. But he did skillfully execute giving a large group of citizens what they wanted. Now we have to see if he can actually deliver on what the entire country really needs.
2.The appeal of Individuality
In 2024, we live in a world where expressing our individuality is celebrated and encouraged. And it’s been a huge growth area in personal development these last few decades. Humans need to feel like they can be themselves - warts and all - while also being a healthy part of a diverse community. Doing both at the same time is part of the art (and skill) of being human. And it's a challenge many of us are still mastering. So Trump - warts and all - represented unabashed individualism. He was himself. Perhaps in ways that are obnoxious and horrid to many voters. But to others, he was a living example of individualism, even if he has yet to master being a healthy part of a diverse community.
3.An unwavering message
The human brain responds to repetition and patterns regardless of content, in part because its energy-efficient. We don't need to dissect this is detail to understand that an unwavering, relentless message takes less effort to digest and humans tend to make choices when they feel like they "know what they're getting". Trump was unwavering and relentless in presenting himself, his image and his message. We all knew what we're getting, even if we didn't like it. But for many others, relentless repetition can foster a false sense of 'authority' and 'expertise' in something. And for humans who struggle with uncertainty, a simple, unwavering presentation can give a (sometimes false) sense of security. This effect works the same way for cults and unscrupulous leaders, as it does for ethical and more helpful ones.
4. Recognition that not everyone processes change at the same pace
Although those who see themselves as Progressive or Liberal may embrace rapid change, it's not how all human brains are wired. And yes, many could argue that we can't mess around anymore on some subjects (like the environment), because rapid change must happen in order to survive. But the additional reality we forget to consider is that humans vary in their pace of accepting change!They just do. We can debate and dissect why that it. But it still is.
Too much change too soon can overwhelm and feel threatening to already established ways of doing things that feel safe and familiar to some humans.
What we call 'conservative' may simply represent a tendency to be slower in adaptation to change. And what we call 'progressive' or 'liberal' may simply represent a tendency to be a bit faster in adaptation to change. There are benefits to both quick thinking and slow thinking. And there are benefits to both slow adaptation and fast adaptation. I know most people reading this could list examples for both sides. Neither pace is better or worse. And my guess is that Trump simply connected with humans who find stability, comfort and a sense of 'safety' in change that happens at a slower pace. Others may find stability and a sense of safety by acting quickly in some areas. We don't have to agree about those 'areas' or subjects that make each of us feel calm and safe. My point is, Trumps message connected to voters in the areas where they wanted to see rapid change, and in the areas they didn't.
4.Lack of relational skills + emotional stability on both sides.
If I had to articulate two broad factors that have influenced the success of my marriage recovery and that I believe can bridge differences between people, it's this: improved interaction/ communication skills PAIRED WITH an emotionally moderate and more agile nervous system.
A deficit in that second part is why we piss each other off so easily, emotionally escalate in our conversations and then momentarily forget all those great skills we just learned. Not being emotional moderated or agile is why we act with disdain, have a judgmental tone in our voice even when our words are technically 'neutral'. And it's also why we can come across as aloof, uncaring or lacking in emotional depth. In fact, even if we're skilled communicators when the stakes are low, those same skills are completely ineffective if we get emotionally triggered. We either blow up at each other and lose ground by falling into hurtful language. Or we go the other direction and become detached, unrelatable robots that can't connect on an emotional level.
We all could stand to improve our communication and relational skills. But the foundation to their successful implementation is an emotional state that is moderate in its activation and can rebound quickly when over-activated, but.. is still emotionally active enough to connect with people beyond their intellect.
One of the ways we can do this is by the popular approach of pairing excellent management practices and awareness (EQ or coping skills) with good communication. But personally, I'm a big advocate of doing the more foundational work of simply moderating your emotional set point at its baseline. That way, you don't have to spend so much time 'managing' a nervous system that gets easily triggered, or feigning emotional connection you don't actually feel. With a moderated emotional baseline, you simply won't get triggered as often. But you'll also 'feel' enough naturally that you won't need to feign it. Which means you can focus more on developing communication and relational skills knowing upsets will rarely interrupt a discussion of differences. And despite having opposing opinions, you'll connect to that person as a human being more fully. But whichever approach you choose, we're not going to get very far if every conversation we have about different ways of thinking or living, gets thwarted by emotional escalation or complete disconnection.
6.The false impression that everyone on each side is ‘extreme’
I want to end with this concept because this generalization just isn't factual. Yes, extremists of both ideologies do exist. Yet, not all who lean Liberal are 'woke snowflakes'. And not all who lean Conservative are conspiracy theorists who believe we all live in 'the Matrix'. I also personally know and witness crossover in both groups - Liberals who are conservative in some areas and Conservatives who are progressive or more liberal in some areas. And I'm betting there's more people who fall in this more 'moderate zone' than we may currently believe. I've talked to Conservatives who support gun restrictions and who care about women's reproductive rights. And I know Liberals who own guns, support policies to regulate immigration and support entrepreneurial and financial prosperity. Those same people also differ greatly in areas. My point is, it takes less effort for our brains to generalize (which is why we do it). And although generalizations can be helpful for general navigation...
..it's a big mistake to think a generalized view of anything or anyone represents all that exists. It doesn't.
When it comes to people, I've learned there are always variances within generalities. Granted, part of why this may be difficult to see in our seemingly opposite political representation is related to what I mentioned in the last section - emotional over-activation can also block us from seeing through bias. We're never going to really know each other, what we each value, what we have in common and how to support our unique differences.... if we're all getting hopped up on adrenaline and losing our minds every time we disagree. See what I'm getting at?
So what can we learn from this?
I'm no political strategist. But I am getting pretty good at strategizing relational growth when people ask for input. And I can't help but wonder if future leaders wishing to stop the repeated swing from extreme Right to extreme Left might benefit from learning or developing the following areas, in addition to whatever academic, business or political education they choose to pursue:
Learn about human Needs. We've expanded way beyond Maslow's original model these days. You can learn the basics here on this platform. But I also encourage you to do a deeper dive and learn from the individual experts. It will help you see and relate to people from a more comprehensive perspective.
Learn Relational and Communication skills. Very few of us learned this growing up. And even if you did, it needs to be continually updated to reflect our current world and what we currently know about our brain and emotional system. We all assume that secondary academic education is a 'no-brainer' necessity in order to successfully thrive as an adult. But secondary emotional and relational education beyond what our parents taught us, is also necessary to thrive (or lead) in a modern, ever-changing world. And like continuing education in any vertical, you have to keep refreshing your knowledge.
Develop and refine the activation set point of your emotional nervous system. If those are new words to you, you can easily take a quick class to learn more about your brain and nervous system. There are a growing number of condensed classes (yes, including on this platform) that can give you a functional summary of the basics. If you prefer, learning effective coping skills and in-the-moment self-management strategies can also work. But coping and managing an over or under-activating emotional state requires more frequent self-awareness and can take a lot of consistent effort. If that approach is currently working for you, keep doing it. But imagine how much faster you could find solutions if you could focus more on the subject of discussion and the other person during a conversation, knowing you're less likely to get triggered and more likely to connect. This approach is also an option. So keep it in mind if you hit a wall with your current self-management tools. Although I share how I moderated my baseline state through this education platform, there is a growing number of additional educators, therapists, and practitioner around the world who are guiding people in this more foundational nervous system development.
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The Human Infusion Project is a grassroots, not-for-profit personal development platform that draws from the combined fields of modern brain science, applied psychology and spiritual philosophy. Our mission aims to augment and supplement the work of professional practitioners in simplified, practical ways, and to give clients an affordable home program they can use in between sessions. 100% of all online class profit funds the Wellness Assistance Grant. If financial constraints limit your participation, please contact me and we'll work something out.
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